Married Chat: Building Happy Marriage
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Praise and encouragement to your spouse is important. Be sure your praise is sincere and specific. A spouse must congratulate his wife for the special meal she prepared with love, a wife her husband to be congratulated for having lifted the first to turn the heating in the house – these are some examples of caring and encouraging remarks, which can stimulate and develop your spouse’s love and appreciation in your marriage. Think about the meaning of the word “appreciation”. I will never forget the constant expressions of thanks and appreciation made by my mother. This has meant that the whole family loved him and appreciated more and I am sure this contributed greatly to the joy and stability in the long and happy marriage of my parents.
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Remember that within the marriage, your communications should be on a positive tone. Wanting to “look for the little beast,” or constantly criticize, is not the right way to communicate must be avoided at all costs, refrain from such negative because it destroys a marriage. A man who lectures and continually corrects his wife is so senseless! How could it respond with meekness and love, if it is regularly “demeaned” and picked up by her husband? The Bible also reveals that a woman is at fault, if she complains, continually grumpy or lecturing her husband. “Better to live on the corner of a roof, to share the home of a woman strife” (Proverbs 21: 9).
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Once again, an abundant and positive, based on love, sharing information, sharing of projects and dreams between husband and wife is the very essence of a happy marriage. Think about it! God himself “sharing” his hopes and plans with us, who are only mortal beings: “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know what his master is doing, but I called you friends because I know you’ve done everything that I learned from my Father “(John 15: 15). If Christ Alive interested in us, to the point of “everything” what he has learned from God the Father, how much more so should we not be willing to reveal and share our thoughts and dreams with our spouse?
Work and dream together
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Whether during your walks, your conversations, in the joyous moments or sad moments, made a joint return, designed to restore your youth and dreams of the future. Discuss and analyze these dreams by showing love and understanding to one another. Then, work together to make them real.
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You, the wives brings the hopes and aspirations of the young girl, perhaps, was walking in the fields of his father, at sunset – dreaming of finding a husband, and have updates own homes, children, safety, warmth and joy. Work together to achieve those dreams.
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Learn to respond to one another openly and with love. Do not be secrets. Do not grudge. It’s your life, your spouse, your love. Learn to think and feel in unison, solve all your problems, as in a team. The encouragement and reciprocal stimulation that you will develop and the warmth and love that you feel will add an extra dimension of understanding, purpose and joy, that you can not get otherwise. Because it is not good that man should be alone “(Genesis 2: 18).
Marriage means giving of oneself
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Jesus Christ was the demonstration of the love of God as anyone else. He did so in many ways. But the sublime demonstration of this love was when he voluntarily gave His life and shed his blood to become our Savior.
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As we have seen, the relationship between Christ and the true church illustrates the relationship between husband and wife. At the end of His physical life, based on the principles of a gift of service, Jesus Christ gave Himself for the Church. All husbands are instructed: “Husbands, everyone loves his wife as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it, in order to sanctify by purifying and cleansing the water by of speech, to appear before him this glorious church without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and blameless. Thus, the husband must love his wife as his own body. He who loves his wife loves himself “(Ephesians 5 :25-28).
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Generally, we tend to think of our own needs. We take care of our personal desires. We provide what we are pleased. But from the moment we become “one flesh” in the eyes of God, we must learn to think differently – to be considered first and foremost the needs and desires of our spouse, how to take care of our “half”! This requires thinking, organization, self-understanding and to give of oneself. This is the basis of marriage!
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One of the most significant sayings of Jesus Christ is not word for word in the Gospels, but in a statement of the apostle Paul described in the book of Acts: “I have shown in any manner that it is working as it should support the weak, and remember the words of the Lord, who himself said: It is more blessed to give than to receive “(Acts 20: 35). There is much happiness to, especially in marriage. In general, the more you give, the more you get. ” As you try to encourage, serve, and give your spouse will tend to do the same. You give them both. ‘ll Use both. The warmth and appreciation reign in your marriage and you will be both delighted.
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Every husband should consider carefully how to increase the joy and fulfillment of his wife. Could not help sometimes to do the dishes or cleaning? Could it be the biggest chores in and around the house? Should not encourage him to sleep more, do more exercise, more to entertain and change of pace? If they have the financial means, might not invite him to dinner once or twice a week? Could not take him from time to time for the weekend in “honeymoon”, to break the routine of daily life and work? Could he not try to enrich their life together, taking his wife to concerts, visiting museums, attending educational conferences, and others? Well adapted to each situation, these activities, and many others, are ways in which a husband may “give”.
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In turn, a woman should think how to enrich the physical, emotional, intellectual, and happiness of her husband. Perhaps it’s most often prepare favorite dishes? It could also encourage them to do more exercises to relax, to take care of his health. Perhaps it is a break in the afternoon or after work, or take a quick shower and change clothes, to appear beautiful and feel alert, as it did when dating. Should not encourage him to share his views on world events, or spiritual issues? Should not respond generously to his affection, and be extremely grateful to be married?
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You may have heard that in marriage, it’s 50-50. You’re halfway there, and your spouse is the other half. But who determines the middle of the road, if you disagree? True love is giving without expecting anything in return – give 100% – and do more than what we could “wait” on your part.
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Christ spoke of this principle: “If you force someone to go a mile, do two with him” (Matthew 5: 41). Yes, even if you do not do so, humanely, made the extra miles, and give your spouse. God will give you what you need. Ask Him to help you give more love, more love and respect to your spouse, and with time you will be blessed by the rewards and benefits of a marriage that is improving.
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Think about the different ways you can give. Small gifts, or a few words of appreciation, make a big difference. A hug or a kiss unexpected, which only require a little effort on your part, can be a precious gift in the eyes of your wife. A simple question like: “How was your day? “Can be a sign of welcome attention, and the opportunity to share thoughts and feelings private.
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I know a very busy couple who nevertheless took the time to witness their love for each other and their mutual interest. One evening, while the women served the meal, she asked her husband: “Do you need something else? “The husband smiled and said:” I need your love. “She smiled. He was backing his chair. She sat on the lap of her husband, and they serrèrent in their arms and embraced. This kind of spontaneity and generosity can create an atmosphere of love and peace.
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This is not always romantic, this is not always idealistic, but day after day, year after year, a happy couple trying to “give” to one another. Everyone will try, in every way possible to assist his spouse to develop their abilities God has granted. Because we can not “receive” (meaning “with”) a happy marriage, unless we learn to obtain (in the sense of “give”) a happy marriage!
Learning to forgive
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Another essential requirement for a marriage to be truly happy, is the willingness to forgive. When two people share their lives, when almost all day and night, it is inevitable that there is occasional friction. After all, we are only human beings. And the best way to solve this problem is by far to do so in the divine way.
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Bouder, ruminate, loan bad thoughts to your spouse, or to assign reasons is bad nonsense. This can only increase the problems, discontent, and perhaps even end in divorce. It is certain, as we have said, you should discuss your injuries and your disagreements. Try to listen to your spouse – instead of thinking about what you will say next! Do not think how you will return to the attack, or “revenge.”
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Revenge?
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Revenge against whom? If you fully understand that you and your spouse are “one flesh,” united by God for life, looking at you “revenge” for yourself! You would not hurt you. This would be an “against-attack” against yourself.
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But what should you do if, after an argument or a discussion with your spouse about any injury – actual or imaginary – yet you feel upset or angry? Again, just what God asks you to do in such situations – forgive!
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“Yes, but it’s entirely his fault! “Could you say. “He [or she] did not even apologized, then how can I forgive him? “By praying sincerely and with the advice of God, you can come to forgive everybody, and all sorts of” injustices “, real or imagined, this car just to ‘cut the road at the exit the motorway, the son of the neighbor who puts his rock too high during the night or the neighbor who peddling gossip about you.
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Even for crimes worse than this, our ultimate example, Jesus Christ said: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23: 34).
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We need to realize that most people did not “intend” to hurt us. They did not “intend” to hurt us. They are simply human beings. They leak hurtful words, or they are wrong, without thinking about what they actually do. Very often, it “hurts”.
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One who gave His life for us, we are commanded: “If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive men, your Father will not forgive you your trespasses not” (Matthew 6 :14-15). So if we forgive everyone in this way, what more reason do we not forgive our spouse who has become our flesh and our bones?
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What if your husband continues to bring mud from the garden, or the fat of the garage? What if your wife continues to let the toast burn once or twice a week? Learn to approach your spouse in a constructive manner, and discuss it, of course. Even if some of these weaknesses persist for years, keep the right approach to forgive. After all, it is better sometimes scratch your toast, but to live alone, do your kitchen, and have nobody to talk to, or shake in your arm. Never forget the recommendation of the Christ: “Then Peter came to him and said: Lord, how many times I forgive my brother when he sin against me? Will it be up to seven times? Jesus said to him, I tell you not seven times but until seventy times seven times “(Matthew 18 :21-22).
The spirit of forgiveness
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We all need to regularly ask God in our prayers, to give us the “spirit of forgiveness.” Some people seem to have terrible trouble forgive others. One would think that they take “pleasure” to cover injuries and bitterness with them for years.
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Remember that, generally, your anger towards other human beings does not hurt much. It is even possible that they are not aware! But it hurts you. It makes you cranky, unhappy, and often difficult to live. Professionals have discovered that these negative emotions often cause ulcers, stomach problems, high blood pressure, attacks and heart attacks. Your negative emotions can literally kill you!
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Again, ask your Heavenly Father to help you overcome this tendency and learn to love all human beings, to forgive them – especially your spouse! Try changing your thinking, not to leave you “hurt” so easily. God is the Father of mercies “(2 Corinthians 1: 3). As you will realize that you often need to be forgiven, ask God to help you forgive others.
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The apostle Peter was inspired to recommend all men of “honor” their wives, “as should also inherit the [...] the grace of life [...] so that does nothing to hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3: 7). Then Peter goes on to give instructions, which apply to our lives as Christians – especially in our marriage: “Finally, be all motivated the same thoughts and feelings the same, full of brotherly love, compassion, humility . Meeting point not evil for evil, or insult for insult; bless the contrary, because that is what you have been called to inherit the blessing. If anyone, in fact, wants to love life and see good days, he keeps his tongue from evil and his lips words misleading, it moves away from evil and do good, it looks peace and continue “(verses 8-11).
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We have to consider marriage as a sort of “workshop” that teaches us how to give, how to share and how to forgive others, continually. As we look closely at the verses above, it becomes clear that God wants us to learn to treat our spouse with kindness and a special courtesy. But in most marriages, each ends up not “have regard” to the other. Everyone tends to let go and speak to the spouse of an abrupt and disrespectful. You can forget how easy it is to hurt another by words and thoughtless acts. You can forget how important it is in a marriage, to “seek peace and pursue it.”
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Think about it! Think how difficult it can be for your spouse to support all acts of selfishness and personal mannerisms that you – like any human being. If you were in his place, can you afford?
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Nobody can be happy keeping injuries and bitterness in her heart – especially towards his spouse. With God’s help, learn to completely forgive your spouse at any time and walk together to really build relationships based on love.
Establishing a Kingdom Family
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Building a happy marriage, but also found a “family realm”. An old saying says: “The house of a man is his castle. This analogy should apply to the entire family where the husband is the king, his wife a queen beloved, and her children of the princes and royal princesses who need to perform their future responsibilities. Parents must work together with enthusiasm, for these future leaders are carefully bred, guided, disciplined, and prepared for the important roles they will play in the years to come.
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The application of these two concepts in marriage – the sincere and loving union of bodies, hearts and minds of a married couple, and the creation of a “family realm” – to allow the man and the woman find total fulfillment. This development is depicted by the Psalmist: “Blessed [blessed] Any man who fears the LORD, who walk in his ways! [...] Your wife is like a fruitful vine within your house, your son are like olive plants around your table “(Psalm 128: 1, 3).
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Once you fully grasp these concepts related to the meaning and purpose of marriage, why do not you bâtiriez your marriage and your home all around them?
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Instead of becoming indifferent, the husband and wife should both be extremely interested to get this mini “Family Kingdom”, they are building together. They should have a common interest, to teach, to improve their family, their financial situation and making plans – for their future.
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Because, in a happy marriage, there is no question of one spouse to say “my house”, “my car” or even “my salary.” Rather, it should be no question “of our house, our car, our wages”.
Build all your “castle”
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Together, the couple should look ahead and make future plans to improve the “castle” family. The feelings of the woman, her agreement and its jurisdiction to decorate the house, arrange for outside furniture, etc.. Should always be taken into account. Every major purchase, like a house or a car, should be a family project – an opportunity and a privilege to share experience between husband and wife.
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Are there certain things you should not talk?
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In principle, no. Everything must be discussed and shared.
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Without being silly or unrealistic, the husband and wife should be aware that they are “partners” engaged in a great adventure, to build a career, a case, a common life. They should discuss the details of their mutual allies – friends, business associates, parents – and take part both in the discussion, expressing their ideas and strategies, discuss in detail what they could do individually to achieve their projects.
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And then there are the children! As discussions, projects and problems to solve – of hope and dreams to share them!
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Establish regular family goals may in fact create a “feeling of being really together.” If both husband and wife work, they can discuss in detail how to put enough money aside so that the woman after a few years, may stop working and decide to have children. Then they must discuss how to prepare financial future, when in retirement. How to prepare for their old age? Where to move to reduce costs? What lifestyle they want there best at that time? Will they keep working to make staying at home to increase the amount of their pension?

If both husband and wife live in “team”, their marriage will really make sense. They will participate in the development of a “family realm”. They want to build and share the great adventure of life together, in a special way.
The physical attraction is important
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Talking, finally, the physical attraction. Although this is the catalyst that brings together the young couples, they often forget the importance of other aspects of marriage, we have developed.
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Because, no matter how many years of marriage, regardless of “age” you have, the profound need for romantic love and affection is still there, for most couples. The desire to kiss and hug, “to have and hold” is almost as necessary for many people that inspire and expire.
Nothing is more true!
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The supreme God who created us man and wife specifically designed our genitals. He created man and woman to be attracted to one another. He put in us feelings and emotions that lead to sexual expression. What was the first order that God gave to Adam and Eve? “God blessed them and God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subjected it” (Genesis 1: 28).
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Note that according to our first parents “gift” of sexuality and human reproduction, God “blessed”. Because sexuality is a blessing when properly used in the context of marriage. In the physical sense, it causes the total union of hearts, minds, emotions and bodies of two human beings who love each other so hard they pledged each other for life. As we have seen, is an illustration of the total union that will end one day between Christ and the true Church of God (Ephesians 5 :22-25).
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This holy union between man and woman married is so important that God consecrated one of the Ten Commandments to protect it! He commands us: “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20: 14). And Jesus Christ magnify or amplify this command by saying: “You have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt not commit adultery. But I tell you that whoever looks at a woman to lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart “(Matthew 5 :27-28).
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Since sexuality is used in marriage as a reaffirmation of love, trust, spirit gift of each spouse to the other, it is something wonderful and sacred in God’s eyes. Frankly, this should not be devalued, despised or popularized by its constant use, as in modern films, television and other media. This only serves to tarnish what God intended to be the supreme expression of love within marriage – symbolizing Christ and the Church.

We must be aware that Satan is “diabolical” in his ingenious way to degrade and devalue the divine blessing, encouraging the misuse of certain things. And, appealing to millions of people to misuse the gift of sex, Satan comes to destroy the foundation of God suitable for any company – the home and family. That is exactly what happens today in most of Western society! On the other hand, God wants that young married couples love each other completely. His inspired revelation tells us: “Let marriage be honored by all, and the marriage bed without defilement, for God will judge the fornication and adultery” (Hebrews 13: 4).
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Again, the Bible teaches us: “May your source is blessed, and let your joy of the wife of your youth, loves deer, gazelle, full of grace: be drunk at any time of its charms, always loving his love . And why, my son, would you be in love with a stranger and kiss you with an unknown? “(Proverbs 5 :18-20).
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When a young couple begins to attend, they usually spend much time in romantic activities. They make long walks. They will eat in restaurants romantic, they will dance, they hold hands, they laugh together and try to understand and appreciate the other person they consider a partner for life. They are almost always cared for, well dressed, and sometimes flavored with fine perfume or toilet water. In all, they try to “get in their thirty-one.”
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However, after the wedding and honeymoon, many couples begin to let go. Sometimes the husband does more shower before going to bed. The woman leaves her hair or wears elegant little dresses in the presence of her husband. She may “forget” to take a bath, put a pretty dress to be beautiful for him when he returns from work. Today, there are so many women who work outside, it becomes even more difficult for them.
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However, the husband and the woman should try to “keep the flame of their love! They should do everything they can to continue to witness the attentions and courtesies special when they were attending at the beginning of their marriage. A husband kisses his wife before going to work. He embraced with a hug special home from work, he will thank and kiss “for dessert” after dinner. Perhaps the help there to do the dishes, or happen to sneak tighten in her arms, while she is standing in front of the sink, etc.. Each spouse should try to give affection and appreciation to the other. Thereafter, it will come more easily and naturally. Because both spouses reach “love” at any time and, on the physical level, this will make their marriage happy and beautiful!
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Giving is a vital aspect in your marriage. Do not allow anything to hinder the building of this kind of love, romantic atmosphere in your home. Do not let the “cares of work” to interpose. Do not let concerns about children, or keeping the house in a state of “perfect”, or anything else stop you from developing in your home and your marriage, the special love and joy Your Creator has planned!
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Husbands, do not be pedantic, fussy, demanding or your wife. Love her, encourage her and arouse her desire to respond to your affection and your constant kindness. Try to “give” of yourself in every way possible and make his life full and joyful.
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Women take the time and effort to be “love” your husband. Make him their affection and try to inspire and encourage in every possible way. As part of the divine laws, try to make them happy and satisfied. Her smile, “joking” with him, kiss him with passion, make it happy to be married.

Learn to love you both truly and to “cherish”. Put your knees to pray and ask God to help you become more loving! Meet him graces, with gratitude, you have given a life partner, friend, companion, with whom you can fully share the blessings of this physical existence.
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Ask God to help you use all the keys mentioned in this brochure for a happy marriage. And then, despite the hardships and experiences that we all, you have someone really “special” to encourage you and help you along the way. In this union ordered by God, that we call marriage, you learn in a remarkable fashion how to respect the second great commandment of our Creator: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22: 39).